It's not all about me

I've been watching Joyce Meyers and the last couple of teachings that she's done is entitled "It's Not All About Me". Her basic message is that God has His own timetable and His own plan, and that us worry worts need to sit back more and enjoy the ride. HMMMM.... that one really hits home. She talks about selfish people, but she also talks about people who love to give...well, that really got me to thinking.

I consider myself a giving person. I pattern (as best I can) my life after my grandfather who I really admired. My grandparents didn't have much, but whatever they had they were willing to give away. All you had to do was mention that you needed something and it was going home with you. This is a good trait, but what got me thinking is that sometimes I give so much it takes away from others trying to give to me.

Let me explain. Money has been really tight the last couple of years. Not as tight as in the past, but there's not a lot for extras. This year, I'm so worried about the hubby and kids and extended family, and their happiness, that I told the hubby not to worry too much about spending money on me. I wasn't trying to be a martyr, I just worry about other people's happiness first. But, what got me thinking is that I'm taking away his joy because he loves giving too. I had good intentions but was just a bit misguided.

So, my early New Year's resolution is to put more in God's hands. I worry so much, and it's really starting to show on my health, and worrying doesn't change much anyway. It's hard, but I'm working on it.

Now my next promise to myself is to try to enjoy the season more. I just haven't been able to get in the mood, between money and cleaning for company to come and...don't laugh... the cats. Yes, I said the cats. They are DESTROYING my Christmas tree. Right now we have 4 cats. The kitten goes to her new home this weekend. Another cat goes to her new home Christmas day. One more cat goes as soon as we find her a good home. And one stays here. I finally compromised with the cats and took all of the breakable ornaments off of the tree. Me, getting old and set in my ways, I'm not really happy about the situation. Of course, the breakable ornaments are my favorites, so the tree doesn't look the same. I keep telling myself to get over it, that I'm a creative person who'll come up with something just as good, but I'm not really convinced. Isn't it funny that the kitten sleeping in the tree is cute, but the cat sleeping in the tree is infuriating? ; )

We get paid tomorrow, so I'm going to go finish the Christmas shopping. I've done quite a bit of dollar store shopping and I've picked up some deals on clearance. I got some really cute purses on clearance for a $1. I even got a matching hat for one of the girls off of the same clearance rack. We try to make the kids each a homemade gift each year. My youngest is still clinging to childhood desperately, and she asked for a doll. I found the cutest doll crochet pattern that I was able to make for $2 for the fiberfill. I used yarn that I had from previous projects. The doll turned out beautifully. I know she'll love it, even just as an addition to her doll collection, whether she plays with it or not. For the older two, I making ponchos. The oldest one's was free (saving yarn pays off), which is good because I have to buy all of the yarn for the middle one's.

This weekend we're going to a local park that decorates for Christmas, and it's all free to the public. On the weekends they have hot cocoa and cookies, hayrides, and entertainment. We're all really looking forward to it!

Well, I guess I better get started if I want to get finished with the heavy cleaning by this weekend. I want to spend next week wrapping gifts so that can be done before my parents get here Thursday. (Yep, she's moved the time table up.) I usually spend most of my time wrapping while they're here and this year I want to focus more on the holiday.